Keep Calm and Motorhome On
When we have an epic Motorhome (RV) trip planned and things start to go awry it’s human nature to collapse issues and ask if we should be on the trip at all.
Here are five tips to keep you rolling on down the road and making memories even if things take a turn for the worse.
Accidents Happen
The definition of an accident is: “An unfortunate incident that happens unexpectedly and unintentionally, typically resulting in damage or injury.” says the reliable, Google search
By this definition alone we can understand that the outcome of whatever went wrong on the trip was not planned or intentional. This is the single most important thing to remember when you are solving an issue. It will put your brain into resolution thinking instead of blaming. If there is a lesson to learn/teach that can be addressed AFTER the immediate issues are resolved.
Tip: When you are traveling with a partner be sure to keep the attention on the problem no matter who made the mistake. This will result in a team effort that brings a solution faster than normal.
Is the Language you are Using Changing the Results you are Getting?
As a society, we have become increasingly numb to the use of inappropriate language. This is not to say that when I swiped the sign in New Zealand and broke off the window in our rental RV, the first words out of my mouth might have been…Oh, $#%!
But in our everyday language, especially while traveling in tight quarters for an extended time, we may want to look at what our language says about how we are feeling on the inside. Language expert James V. O’Connor says: “People who swear often tend to be disagreeable, critical, cynical, angry, argumentative, and unhappy complainers.”
That is not to dismiss that something bigger might be brewing with aggressive language that needs to be resolved. But if it’s just a habit the good news is it can be reversed immediately.
On the other hand, O’Connor notes, those who don’t swear “are often calm , mature people who [can] deal with daily annoyances.”
When we use more feeling based language what we are actually doing is telling the people around us how to help us solve the problem at hand. For example: “I’m embarrassed that I have to call Wilderness Motorhomes and say I broke the window.” Ah…okay now we have something to work with. The feeling of embarrassment is something that can be dealt with quickly. We pick up the phone and lead with the feeling, “I’m just so embarrassed and sorry I have to make this call.” Wilderness assures us it’s no problem. In fact, it happens often and the insurance will cover the issue.
Tip: Being mindful of our language can change the dynamics of our relationships and solutions; for the good or bad.
What Are we Making it Mean?
Albert Ellis, the founder of Rational Emotional Behavior Therapy, shows us how humans think and behave as easily explained in Gwendoline Smith’s new book for teens, The Book of Knowing. There is what happens, how we interpret it and then how that shapes our mood and behavior.
When things go wrong, or not as planned, it is important to recognize how we are feeling so we can go back to what really happened as quickly as possible. When we do this, we are using our energy to be problem-solving machines.
Looking at reality (what just happened) and interpreting it as something different (ie “I’m a bad driver”, “This trip is off to a wrong start”, “I never want to drive an RV again”) we are spending mental energy for negative and often empty results. This usually changes our mood and behavior to the negative…and we still don’t have a solution.
Instead, deal with what really happened. The window is broken. How on earth are we going to solve this??? Here is duct tape and a plastic bag…(laughing) We are going to remember this forever!!
TIP: The quicker we can realize the reality of the problem the quicker we will be able to come up with resolutions instead of wasting energy on negative or self-deprecating thought patterns.
Isolate the Problem
The trip to New Zealand was magical! But there were a few events that could have spiraled to make what Marc and I call a “Snowball”. The minute we got on the plane Victoria spilled a GIGANTIC ice coffee on my seat, we had to sleep in our car one night due to poor planning, Marc broke his collarbone, the software update on our computer crashed the machine, and I ripped the window off the rig (oh and psst…the plumbing for the the gray tank, under the rig, by running over a traffic cone). All of this could have made us stop in our tracks, but there are three things to consider when facing a snowball of bad circumstances.
First, be aware that you are in the situation. Recognizing you are in the middle of a problem can help you face it. I like to be positive but that doesn’t always solve problems. Sometimes it’s better to say, “Houston, we have a problem.”
Second: You can only solve one problem at a time. Trying to do too many things at once can create its own drama. Figure out what the issues are and solve the most critical one first.
Third: Don’t make the problem(s) mean something more than it is. Refer back to “What Are We Making it Mean”. You can only deal with what is actually happening. Don’t make something up like; you weren’t meant to go on this trip. That will only bring you down and delay a solution.
TIP: You can eliminate the snowball if you are able to deal with one issue at a time.
The Dangers of Our Own Expectations
Expectations play a huge role in how we perceive things are going. When expectations don’t meet our reality, Marc and I call that “The Dip”. Just knowing that “The Dip” is possible makes way for solution based thinking. Here are a few things to try when you are faced with “The Dip.”
First: Make sure you have covered the basics. Am I hangry? Do I need to get out and exercise to work off jet lag, travel fatigue, a food coma? Do I need a nap? Is there a basic problem that is limiting the experience that can be solved quickly?
Second: When things don’t go as planned this is the time to exercise your spontaneous muscle. Try saying this to yourself: I’m in a new place…the possibilities are endless. This should give your brain a chance to let go of what you thought should happen and start to think of what could happen.
Special Note: ***if you have kids, it’s helpful to have a plan B and act like you had this in the back of your hat all along. Sometimes, they just need you to be excited to move past the now and into the future. For example: Go to the movies, go to the gaming place you can’t stand but it would bring a smile to your kiddo’s face, go and get some ice cream…seriously…that can turn around many bad days.
Third: Remember our imagination can be very powerful. Let’s use it to make something fun happen along the way instead of use it to set ridged expectations that are hard to live up to. When it comes to travel; happiness (and satisfaction) usually shows up, in a big way, if we are adapting to our environment and flexible in our outcomes.
Tip: Being adaptable and flexible will always get you to the other side of “The Dip”
Thanks Trish, this is great. We are in the middle of a Dip at the moment – in Costa Rica no less. A good word in a write moment! Thanks again.
Our friends say these mishaps are “ school fees” as my husband says “a learning experience “ we all learn something new and from oopsies and our creative thinking goes into overdrive on how to come up with a solution.
Boy, did the above advice push some of my buttons, big time. That is one thing I really enjoy about watching your videos, that you both, Marc & Trish, can maintain some dignity………..when things go awry. Not to say you are not upset or disgusted, but that you just work through it finding the humor (maybe?) in the problem. I’m going to copy and paste your Blog advice……………….especially about swearing……………. and the propensity for losing it when I make a big costly mistake, like backing my truck into my patio fence, ruining two big wood panels and breaking a tail light. However, I did manage that fair reasonably. 🙂 Thanks for your videos, I thoroughly enjoy watching them and look forward to your trip around New Zealand, what a beautiful, BEAUTIFUL place. Am just now catching up with years 1, 2 & 3 as I only started watching You Tube last fall. I enjoy your family life, it is thought provoking and entertaining! I travel vicariously through you all!! Best Wishes, Monte
Great comments Monte! I agree that their advice hits home- and I’m not even on the road yet with my girls in our TT!
Marc & Trish, This is Chuck (and Barbra) Rigney again. We were once-upon-a-time, short time neighbors at StorageMax Scottsdale. Remember? Anyway, since you introduced me to KYD I have not missed a single one of your YouTube videos, , , starting with Mexico. I am loving New Zealand, your family dynamics, your positive and energetic approach to things. We can relate to the unexpected surprises of RV travel (5th wheel in our case). BTW, has anyone reported to you the snow depth at your Flagstaff cabin the last few days? Something like 40″. Wishing you all the best down under.
So grateful for the videos AND the blog. The videos were great, and we see you handle everything seemingly with so much grace. But the blog write-up gives so much more depth. Thank you so much for all the extra time and effort I know it takes!! We are so guilty of the “isolate the problem””….this happened, so that means…. thanks!!!
Very good information!! Now… practice , practice, practice… I know change doesn’t come overnight., but having the tools for making things better “and using them” is a good start
Bent metal or broken hardware are ALL fixable and/or replaceable. Human life/limb — not so much. As long as no one got hurt, all is well. I think we damage our ego more with metal/hardware damage whereas with a human injury/death, our ego doesn’t so much come into play because of the seriousness of the loss of human flesh/life. Isn’t it amazing how much the ego can drive our reactions so negatively?
Thanks so much for this! We are new, new to living and traveling full time in our RV. It’s been 8 days. We left Portland (our home town) last Monday. Spent a couple days at a TT park, then the last 5 at my brothers on the central Oregon coast, as we make our way down to the southern coastal town of Brookings. And we have to go to the DMV office there (that’s a story for another time). As we were heading down 101 talking about what a beautiful travel day it was when we saw a emergency alert sign about half way thru our trip (it had been raining a lot and the valley was getting snow). We tuned in and heard that hwy 101 was closed from “sunken grade” 12 miles north of Brookings! Ahhh! So we found a sweet state park to plant down in last night to regroup. Is snowmagedon in western Oregon right now, making it impossible to go anywhere. So we can’t make it to Brookings until who knows when. I was super bummed this morning, not only do we have to go to Brookings but we need some sun and warmth! Then I read this post, it was so encouraging and grounding! We’ve watched everyone of your videos and have learned so much from you two! Thanks for being part of our journey and making even this low moment better!
We have had a trip like that above. Thank you for sharing. Our trip consisted of loosing the huge hook off the safety chain (we think someone took it off at one of our stops) and having the CHP stop us, because the chain was causing sparks (officer was great). Leaving my camera lens at the N. Grand Canyon Lodge (they were so nice to send it back..I paid postage), a flat tire outside of Kingman ,hubby and I quickly changed it and went on to Big O Tires…thought we would have to wait, but they were Awesome and pointed out wear on another tire (yes..axles bent) The blowout only put black streaks on the outside of the rig and tore off the cover to an electric outlet. Then a long slide out cabinet/drawer popped out and broke. We kept our cool through it all and were very grateful nothing HUGE happened. It’s great that you are sharing the everyday happenings, good or not so good. 😀
What was the tape called that you used on the window? I thought it was something besides duct tape.
Gaffing tape ????
Huston – really?
Tipo
Hello
My husband and I are RV Newbies. We are currently on our third camping trip. Our RV was in storage for one month after our second camping trip and this time when we picked up the RV we noticed we had a horrible odor from the gray water tank. My question is when you put your RV in storage do you leave your tanks completely dry or do you fill them up a little bit with some chemicals for odor control while it’s in storage ? and if you do fill up the tanks a little bit how much do you put in your tanks?
I have been looking all through YouTube -some people use the pre-made pouches, some people do homemade concoction cocktails for the toilet and I’m just wondering what everyone else does? We want to make sure that we put our RV in storage properly and what do you all put in your tanks????? Additionally other other things that you do to the RV when you know you were going to store it longer than a month time as well as through the winter? I appreciate any feedback from anyone thank you😀